Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Cool Human Body Facts



The longest hiccups on record was by an American pig farmer whose hiccups persisted from 1922 to 1987.

The longer white infants from low-income families are breast-fed, the less likely they will be overweight as young children, researchers said on Monday.

The length of a human esophagus is 25 centimeters.

The human liver performs over 500 functions.

The feet have approximately 250,000 sweat glands.

The eight most popular foods to cause food allergies are: milk, eggs, wheat, peanuts, soy, tree nuts, fish, and shellfish.

The early occurrence of a fetus yawning is at eleven weeks after conception.

The average ear grows 0.01 inches in length every year.
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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Blonde Ice Fishing



Ice Fishing

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right gear, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. After getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice.

Then from the heavens a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut another hole in the ice.

Again the voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The very scared blonde raised her head and said, "Is that You, Lord?"
The voice answered, "NO. IT'S THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK."

Monday, April 27, 2009

Dumb Blondes Jokes



Q:What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A:A Golden Retriever.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.

Q: What do you call a brunette standing between two blondes?
A: An interpreter.

Q. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A. Pregnant!

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said "Concentrate."

Q: How can you tell if a fax came from a blonde?
A: It has a stamp on it.

Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: How do you put a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School



Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"

When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good" and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The Teacher fainted.
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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Funny Political Cartoons






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Monday, April 6, 2009

Crazy Girls






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